Updated: Oct 14, 2022
In life and especially doing this pandemic, you likely have been holding it together for your family, job, friends, and others. While you have made it through, it is possible that are you feeling the impact of these decisions.
I know it hit me recently when I thought "How in the world was I able to do all of this?" I did not have a name for it but I later realized that I was dealing with stress and overwhelm. I also recognized that I was struggling with some old habits of people-pleasing and overextending at times.
I purposely went on a family vacation in December and a personal retreat in January because I needed to hold space for myself.
With this awareness, I have intentionally become more aware of my energy, stress levels, and self-care rituals since the beginning of the year.
Then I started thinking about how many of my sister-friends may also be having difficulty in this season and I thought of you. Especially, I thought about those that share some habits of people-pleasing.
Do you frequently say yes to others and are you there to provide others with the support they need?
Will you take on more in an attempt to avoid hurting others?
Do you want to avoid conflict and can be seen as a peacemaker?
Do you try to work hard to make sure others are happy or feeling good?
Do you feel the urge to smooth things over (maybe even say sorry) to keep the peace?
Do you feel overwhelmed when you agree to do something but ignore those feelings?
Have you had difficulty saying "no" and when you successfully say "no" you have to have "good" reasons why?
Do you feel uncomfortable with the thought that you may disappoint someone?
Are you likely to not tell others when they hurt your feelings?
Do you feel guilty when you do things for yourself?
If you see yourself in any of these, no need to be hard on yourself. This may have become a cycle for you and you may have assumed that "this is just the way that I am."
When someone displays behaviors of people-pleasing, they may experience "yes stress".
What in the world is "YES STRESS"?
While "yes stress" is not often shown on the outside, you may feel internal stress related to making decisions, speaking up, saying no, overextending yourself, feeling someone may feel disappointed or angry with you, having to set boundaries, or confronting any form of conflict.
This is a result of "yes stress" and can be very common with people pleasers.
Implementing a self-care routine that includes meditation allows you to create the space and time for just you. It allows you to connect with your own thoughts, emotions, and body. It provides the space for you to hear your inner voice and intuition while learning to trust yourself. It slows down your heart rate while improving your overall health.
Want to know if you're living in your empowered state?